Anyway, the toddler thing has had me thinking about behaviour more broadly, because it's the exact same problem we hit in classrooms. And I feel like I'm seeing SO many behaviour chats all over social media at the moment... including some from yours truly!!
Here's my opinion: most of us were trained to manage behaviour, not understand it.
Charts, consequences, a firm voice, a quiet room as the goal. And it works often enough that we don't question it.
But a quiet class isn't automatically a regulated one. A child can sit perfectly still and be completely overwhelmed. Compliance and regulation are NOT same thing.
The biggest shift for me wasn't a new strategy. It was a new question.
Not "how do I stop this?" but "what is this telling me, and what can I change so it's less likely to happen again?"
E = Education Tip 💡
Here's the bit that explains why my very reasonable toddler negotiations go absolutely nowhere.
There are two parts of the brain doing the work. The thinking brain plans and listens and weighs things up. The guard dog brain has exactly one job, and that job is safety.
When the guard dog senses a threat, real or imagined, it takes over. Stress hormones flood in and the thinking brain goes offline. Behaviour is the guard dog barking.
Diagram from The Classroom Playbook
And you cannot teach a barking dog. Not with logic, not with a consequence, not with the best-worded reminder you've ever delivered.
So my tip is to split the moment in two.
In the moment, do less. Fewer words, lower voice, less standing over them, less audience. You're not correcting yet, you're just helping the guard dog settle.
Then later, once they're calm and the thinking brain is back, you have the actual conversation. The one about what happened and what we'll do next time.
Same conversation. Ten minutes later. Completely different outcome, because now the brain is back online and ready to hear it!
Give it a try and let me know if you notice a difference!
R = Resource Spotlight 🔦
All of our Book Week Australia resources are now LIVE - just in time for August, which is when most of you told me you start thinking about Book Week activities!
I wasn’t sure about this year’s theme initially, but the more I’ve sat with it, the more I really like it. “Symphony of Stories” isn’t just a theme, it’s a reminder of what stories actually do. On their own, each one is a single voice, teaching curiosity, or belonging, or resilience, or patience. No single book does all of it. But together, they’re the whole orchestra.
And that’s an idea worth borrowing even if Book Week isn’t a thing where you are!!
So - we’ve done twelve book packs, covering the Early Childhood and Picture Book shortlists. Crafts, differentiated literacy, maths and design activities, all anchored to the real moments in that particular book. I’ve gone waaaaay deeper than previous years - there’s SO much more goodness inside.
Hive members, don’t forget the matching Book Week images and slide backgrounds are also available for you. Just search “Book Week 2026” in the image library.
Have a wonderful rest of the week!
Love,
Tam
P.S. Slightly surreal news - I’ve written a book!! It’s called The Classroom Playbook, and it’s all the things I wish someone had handed first-year me, including a whole chapter on the guard dog stuff above.
It’s not being published until early next year, but you can get early pre-sale access + my Aussie email subscribers can also nab a discount!
